My husband's family is very different to mine. In mine, we talk 19 to the dozen, over the top of each other, and say what we think. The house is a constant buzz of conversation.
In Hubby's home, there is lots of quiet time, people don't talk over the top of each other, and confrontations and arguments are headed off at the pass. Feelings are bottled.
His are a very sensitive family. Myself and the other sister in law come from similar households, and it's quite an adjustment for us.
This weekend was Hubby's sister's 40th birthday. She threw a big party and was adamant that she wanted to do it all on her own. I felt slightly aggrieved that she had refused our offer of help, even the offer of the use of our Costco card to keep her costs down. However, I made some brownies to take up and left it at that.
Hubby's mother and father bought some sparkling wine to toast with, and sister in law's husband said that the birthday girl was secretly hoping that her mum would make her a cake, but hadn't asked directly.
As it was, she made a FANTASTIC Hawaiian themed (to go with the party theme) cake, and spoke to her the day before the party to say she had made one, and would birthday girl like to be surprised with it, or have it laid out with the food. The answer was to be "surprised" with it.
On the day, we were instructed NOT to turn up early. We turned up on time. Birthday girl had gone to get changed and while she was gone, her mother in law turned up with another birthday cake, and was surprised to see the other one - she had been led to believe there wasn't going to be one. However, she didn't mind, and was pretty cool with it. Birthday girl reappeared, stressed and snappy, and even more stressed to see two cakes. Her mum and dad suggested that it would be best to put both the cakes out at the same time later on.
At this point, I don't have all the detail, but next thing I know my mum in law is crying and father in law is fuming. It turns out that Hubby's sister told them that they had ruined her birthday party by baking her a cake.
We all tried to have a good party, but to be quite honest, none of us really wanted to be there after that. They had a chat with her, but she never apologised. She came over to me and apologised for being snappy, but not properly to her parents, and after all the effort they had made, it was long overdue.
We stayed til the end, helped them clear up (although the parents were asked not to help), then there was a complicated solution to getting all 3 cars back home with only 2 drivers, so father in law didn't get to bed til half 2 after helping drive back and forth. (I should point out at this stage that birthday girl had had the loaner of mother in law's car for the party).
The next day, they're both still upset, no word from birthday girl all day, and the car wasn't delivered back before we left on Monday. Sister in law called us to say thanks for present, and thanks for the party, and I tried to just stay out of it, as did Hubby, but he told me that SHE was still upset with PARENTS - when the way we were told it, she had no right.
Anyway, I just hope they talk about it, because it seems to be a big misunderstanding, but if they don't talk about it soon and work it out, with that family it's going to become a big issue before too long.
Other than that, it was a lovely relaxing weekend, although I ate far too much as I always do when we visit. I did one 6 mile run, but that was it.
Back on track today....
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