Breathing space

I have so much to do at work at the moment that I've been forgetting stuff I need to do personally, like writing the complaints letter to Monarch/Cosmos and arranging a date to have our fireplace fitted (just in time for the warmer weather!!!).

Workwise I am feeling so overwhelmed that I just don't know where to start, and as a result I keep putting off the big things that are all due at the same time and diverting my panic by doing the stuff that I can do.

I have 3 big projects all due within a few days of each other. I know that if I break them down it won't seem so insurmountable, but even that seems like a big job when I don't really know what I am doing.

I don't want to talk to my boss because she is clearly frustrated with me, and when she gives me advice she clearly thinks that her advice is obvious and simple, but to me, it's not.

I have things like "Write Brief", but because I don't really know anything about what I am supposed to be writing the brief on, that just sends me into panic mode. I hate this feeling because it reminds me of when I was at school and uni and we used to get given our assignments.

My first instinct was to just feel sheer desparation and ignorance and then I'd usually take myself off somewhere quiet and cry.

The stupid thing is that I always came through in the end, I must have done as I have A Levels and a good degree, but knowing that still gives me no confidence. Mainly because I always think it's a fluke, a last minute, by the seat of my pants fluke.

So. My big projects:

1. Taking the Category Drivers allocated to me, I have to basically read loads of research and find the pieces of insight that support that particular driver and then pull it together into a template. This is not difficult, I know how to do this, and yet I keep putting it off and off.
2. With Food activity evaluation template - I've already pulled something together, and have arranged a meeting for 12 today for my boss to take me through what she thinks should be included (something she really could have taken me through when she briefed me so that I was better prepared). This is should not be difficult either, once I've had this meeting.
3. Virtual Insights Team - various bits and pieces. Again, not difficult; yes, boring and time consuming, but not difficult.

So, having established that none of these things are beyond me, why am I still feeling my heart racing and panic setting in? Why can't I just get on and do this work. I have nearly 3 weeks to do them all, and that really shouldn't be a problem for me.

What's wrong with me? Where's my work mojo gone? My boss said she wanted me to get my confidence back, but it would appear that, instead, I seem to have lost any last remaining scrap that I had.

In other news, I watched Marley & Me last night. I want their house.