Feeling nervous

My Alli just arrived. I am feeling slightly nervous again having read all the possible side effects.

This is good though. This requires commitment. I need to go through and work out the fat and calories of everything that I eat. Which I've not done for years as I've counted in points for the past 12 years.

It is a big commitment. I'm just realising that now as I'm reading through the booklet, but then, that's the nature of weight loss, isn't it? It's a commitment to your future self, a commitment to your life and the life you want. It's a commitment to your present self.

It's just that my present self still doesn't think I can do this.

So. To remind myself why I have gone to this extreme and taken this path:

This is the path that I am now choosing.

I skipped the gym last night because I ended up taking nearly an hour to try and book train tickets through our work travel system. I can feel myself slipping back into the bad habits of last year where I ended up going only once a week.

I want to get back to where I was before we went on holiday - running 20-30k a week, and going 3 times a week.

It's a commitment. Scary sh*t, people.