It's been a long plateau...

And I can't see the way down anymore.

I weighed in this morning. 3rd week on Alli. 2nd week with a weekend of socialising. And what a surprise (insert sarcasm here), no weight loss.

I have only myself to blame. I only managed one run last Wednesday and then another on Monday, even with a 10k walk on Saturday, it just wasn't enough.Making sensible food choices is just not good enough.

I need to cut out all the excuses and the social eating, and stick to the plan. And I need to step up the exercise.

I've remembered that our gym has one of those arm bicycles, so I'm going to add that to my interval training - apparently it's very good for toning arms, and because my running focuses mainly on my legs, I thought that doing a separate workout for my arms would be a good thing.

This weekend - well, we're home Friday night so I can get a work out in. On Saturday we are leaving early to drive up to Leeds to stay with a friend overnight. I don't know what she has planned food wise, but I know she's visiting a farmer's market.

I was going to bake some brownies to take up with us, but I think the temptation will be too great and I don't want to put myself in that position. But maybe that is just completely selfish of me. And maybe I need to challenge my will power again and realise that I can learn to say No to food that I don't need.

I haven't really been tracking my food that closely this week, but I'm going to make sure I get back on track with that - I'm getting to know the calorie and fat content of our usual meal repertoire.

I had been hoping at this point that I would be half a stone down. I'm 3lb down - so I am really not at all convinced that the Alli is actually doing anything, especially because of the lack of nasty side effects (which although I'm pleased about, psychologically it's lost its threat!).

I really don't want to still be writing these sort of posts a year from now, like I have been for the last umpteen years, but somehow I just can't seem to dig deep and do what I need to. I spend my time wingeing about how unfair it is that I can't lose the weight, but when faced with temptation, I give in pretty much every time and convince myself that running 20-30k a week is enough.

It's not enough.

I have 11 weeks til we leave for the USA on our big holiday. 11 weeks. I want to lose 12lbs at least. Please.

Please something give me the strength to do this, because I can't seem to find it in myself.