So gutted

Weigh in last night. Had prepared myself for just a 1lb weight loss.

I took off my heavy winter coat. Removed my shoes. Took off the heavy (!) necklace I was wearing. Stripped off the cardigan.

And stepped confidently onto the scale. Looked down.

I don't understand. Nothing. Nada. Zippo. Still 12st 8lb for crying out loud. Which I nearly did.

It was a new dude tonight, covering for our usual leader. Never had a male leader before. The queue was big and I just wanted to get out of there and cry. He kept me talking. Tried to reassure me that I would definitely see the weight loss next week instead if I'd put the work in.

But I don't think I will, because back on my scales I was also 12st 8lb. The same exactly as last week.

I don't know how. I know I went over my points on the weekend, but I ran 10 miles. 10 miles. You can bet that's 10 miles more than most of the people at my WW class. I saved nearly 5 points a day for the rest of the week. That should have more than made up for the disgressions of the weekend. It does usually. The week before I ate far more on the weekend, and did less exercise, and I lost 2lb!!

It just seems to UNFAIR. And that's what I hate about the whole dieting thing. My entire family sat there on Sunday and ate way more than I did, they all had birthday brownies and took some home with them. I didn't. And none of them exercise. I do. And I'm the f**king one that puts on weight, and constantly has to battle to try to keep it off? How is this fair?

Okay. So. How to get myself motivated for the week ahead (and a wedding tomorrow?)?

Well, for starters, I'm going to drive, so no excuse to drink. That'll help.

And I'm going to remind myself why I want to be slim:

• Because when I'm slim, my legs won't rub together and I can wear skirts without tights in the Summer.
• When I'm slim, I'll be able to look as stylish as my friends.
• When I'm slim, I'll be more motivated to keep the weight off.
• When I'm slim, I'll finally know what it is like to be slim.
• I won't always feel like I'm the biggest person around.
• I'll have more confidence, and feel sexier.
• I'll look good in photos.

I need to weigh in at 4lb off next week if I am to keep on target for my interim goal. That's a big ask. I need to step up the exercise, and not do my usual over indulgence at the weekend.