Frenemies...

So, we have these friends. Hubby has known them for about 7 years, me about 5.5. We were good friends, we got on well, we had a laugh, we enjoyed each other's company.

The friends have had a tough time, with illness, losing weight, giving up smoking, trying to adopt. We helped out where we could. We tried to be good friends.

In 2007, we all go on holiday together. It's okay, but Hubby and I decide never to go on a 2 week holiday with other people again. Mainly because it's impossible keeping everyone happy, and there could have been a lot of arguments, but we bit our tongues.

In January 2008, we agree to a New Year's short break with them and another couple and their little boy. We book a cottage. We have a massive fight with them on the second day. Things are awkward. We kind of make up, but I'm keeping them at arm's length as she was really vicious and aggressive, and I was scared.

BUT, her hubby is still building our fitted wardrobes (started in March 2007), so we need to play nice until they're done.

We have another fall out over email - this time because she's trying to organise a surprise party for Hubby's 40th, and we make our apologies that we won't be able to make it. She flies off the handle - says she's going to keep our reply to show her hubby how little we care about him. Reason we can't go - Hubby's folks are down. We don't get to see them often, they live 3 hours away. She raises various random points, accusing us of choosing to live that far from Hubby's folks - sore point. He hates being so far from them, but we go where the jobs are. Anyhoo... she eventually apologises and we kind of make up again.

So - last night, her hubby FINALLY comes over and finishes off the wardrobes. And presents us with a bill for £975. When we had asked him how much we owed him still, he said a couple of hundred.

All the charges are fair, he has done some other work for us, but it's a bit out of the blue.

My conclusion: she doesn't want to be friends with us anymore, but recognises that we still owe them some money, so instructs her hubby to bill us for as much as possible (some of which we thought he was doing as a favour for us!!!), finish the wardrobes and then that's it.

Funnily enough, we'd reached much the same conclusion. Play nice until the wardrobes were finished, pay him off and then cease to make an effort.

It works out all around, but I feel slightly bitter that she will no doubt bitch to her friends about the terrible treatment she received from us.... (we have heard many similar stories from her... and came to realise that there are two sides to every story!!!!).

I am however, relieved that 2.5 years after starting, we finally have fitted, complete wardrobes in our bedroom.

Lesson learnt: never ask friends to help with DIY for payment.... that wasn't what caused the breakdown in the friendship, but it certainly helped prolong a bad relationship longer than necessary.