Flat again

As I suspected, my weight loss last week was not to be repeated again.

This always happens, and it's to do with the way my head works. Every week I have a good weight loss, I then stay the same or put on the following week. It's as if my brain thinks "Well, you had a weight loss this week so you don't need to try as hard next week".

I don't know why.

I did hit the gym last night. Every time I walk into the changing room, my heart sinks because I know I have an hour of running at least ahead of me. I know I really need to get a personal trainer and do all sorts of different exercises to build some strength and tone but for me, the most effective calorie burn is still running - most calories lost in shortest time in the gym = bonus!

I managed 11k, but I didn't do interval training this time, however, I am definitely faster as I did it in under 59 minutes. I couldn't have gone any longer though.

On the plus side, I realised that I'd mis-measured the long run I did at the in-laws in July - it's actually 16k, but for some reason I had it in my mind as only 14.5k - so I get to increase my total by a whopping 1.5k - woo hoo!

I know my eating hasn't been great this week - I had lunch out on Tuesday and have been eating far too much bread, and white bread at that. These are all things I know I shouldn't be doing, but part of my brain says "You didn't have any chocolate*, cake, crisps*, biscuits or burgers" and talks me into having extra bread.

[*Edit, my brain conveniently forgot about the chocolate mousse cake and crisps I had on Saturday night!!]

I wish it was as simple as just not eating junk food, but it's a minefield out there, it really is. I have to avoid so much stuff and it's heartbreaking a lot of the time. I DO feel deprived and as if I am missing out, and I'm not sure how to overcome that feeling of despair and loneliness that comes with it.

Hubby didn't lose any weight either, but he was out to lunch yesterday and he was drinking on the weekend, so he didn't expect to - besides, he only did one 25 run in the gym all week. He's looking a lot trimmer though, and I think that's giving him more confidence.

I've been watching "Bulging Brides" on Living, and one thing occurred to me last night - it doesn't matter how big or small you are (cos these brides were quite small), it is still so easy to fall into bad eating habits and gradually put on weight. It also struck me that their fiances were all pretty slim, didn't have to worry about what they ate and easily whupped their brides in the physical challenges despite not having been to a gym in years. Men have it easier - FACT.

It also showed me that there is stuff I can do to tone and build strength, but the PT (x2) I had before I felt couldn't really accommodate my needs into their schedule - I was small fry, and they wouldn't provide me with a workout plan so that I could do stuff on my own. That said, Lizzie, one of my gym "friends" has now qualified as a PT and Nutritional Advisor, so I might just give her a go if I can save some money up - it's really a shame that they don't have Boot Camp Fitness where I am. I have a sick fascination with seeing if someone can really push me to do stuff I don't think I can - and I'd love to see some good inch loss results. I just know that I couldn't do it on my own though as I lack the discipline and am so lazy!

In other news - I am going to see Wicked tonight, and I'm very very excited! And I have a very busy day ahead, so that should make it whizz past!