Aspirations

A visit from the in-laws has been thought provoking for me this weekend, and then coincidentally I read this post.

I have to admit to finding visits from my in-laws frustrating at times. And more so when they come to visit us vs. when we visit them. I seem to be able to let it wash over me when we go to their home - but it riles me when they come to ours.

In my family, we have heated debates around the dinner table, we tackle other family members when they've done or said something that has upset someone. We "do" confrontation.

Hubby's family don't. Every discussion I try and raise at the dinner table gets shut down with Father In Law's opinion and a nervous laugh from MIL. It drives me crazy as it's almost like I'm not entitled to an opinion.

The other potential area for fireworks is around our jobs and lifestyle. Not that they dare criticise it, but more that because we have aspirations and ambition for an even better life, they think we're being ungrateful for what we DO have. Because Hubby hates his job and wants a better one, their opinion is that at least he has a job, and most people don't enjoy their job but you just have to stick with it.

I find this a distinct contrast to my father who has done nothing but encourage our plans for a new business venture, and has offered to help in any way we need him to.

Hubby's family are so risk averse, whereas I am used to saying "Let's just do it", and I find myself having to bite my tongue frequently.

I find it frustrating because we are both left deflated by their visits, our self confidence takes a knock and we start to wonder if they're right and we should just settle for our lot.

But then we rally, and we say to ourselves that we have no reason to settle - we are both intelligent, sensible, practical and have our own talents. Okay, so we might not make a huge amount of money from our business idea, but that's not the point - the idea is to have something we have made, something fulfilling that we have put our all into, and get job satisfaction that way.

I just can't understand why they can't see that settling for a desk job you hate is NOT okay. What's the point in life if that's the best you can do? Whatever happened to parents wanting kids to fulfill their potential - and why can't they see that Hubby has so much potential?

There's nothing wrong with wanting more, as long as you appreciate what you do have - and I think that we do appreciate everything that we do have, we are grateful every day for the cards that life has dealt us, but that doesn't mean we don't have aspirations and ambition to do more.