Losing enthusiasm

I appear to be going through a bit of a low. It's probably PMT.

I just can't seem to muster up much enthusiasm for anything this week - hence my lack of blogging - I'm boring myself so didn't want to inflict that and lose the few readers I do have!

I've been flagging at work too. My new boss is all for pushing me out of my comfort zone and raising my profile and getting my confidence back, but I kind of like being in my comfort zone and working behind the scenes. Once again I am frustrated by the company's focus on all my weaknesses and the seeming unwillingness to play to team members' strengths - we can't all be great at everything and I feel more miserable the more my failings are pointed out.

I get great feedback from the colleagues I do the most work for, but she has highlighted a few things as areas I need to address in the "influencing skills" course I am going to be attending that I feel a bit peeved about. She says I am "challenging" when she asks me to do things for her (I see it as informing her of my intended course of action and seeking to clarify exactly what it is she wants before I spend time doing something that she doesn't want).

I am frustrated by my work going unread in certain quarters, I am not unimaginative in sending out "teaser" emails, or in creating 2 page summaries that are quick and easy to read so that people don't have to read the full analysis. But I am limited in that I can lead the horses to water but I can't force them to drink (hence the need for an "influencing skills" course.

I am also tiring of the gym and the running challenge. I'm getting back into the habit of going 3 times a week but I am not enjoying it in the slightest and am getting bored. I've run 92km so far, and the 913 I have left are looking unlikely in my current frame of mind.

I am also having trouble sticking to anything remotely WW at the weekends. Because my weeks are so dull and routine (and not just on the food front), I find myself using the weekends as an excuse to eat whatever I like to give me something to look forward to. As a result I am tending to stay the same weight week on week, despite the 30km a week that I am now running.

I am seeing no progress whatever, and my clothes are just as tight as they were 6 weeks ago, despite the supposed change in body shape that most runners see.

I know I need to persevere, but I just can't seem to summon the energy to do that.

Oh well. It's the end of my working day, so I need to go to the gym.